Wednesday, June 29, 2005

once again, I blog, therefore, I am

You may recall, {okay, this may be the first time you are reading this blog so you don't recall!} that I wrote about changes. Well, there have been an avalanche of them recently.

First, my partner is changing jobs. She has come to the understanding that there is more to life then just work, work, work... I can't imagine what else there is, but if she says so, then I'm a believer. This job change has placed an enormous amount of stress on her and by proxy on me. She hopes that this will free up some time for her to enjoy more of life versus work. BTW, after 13 months from when she eatablished her very own blog, she made a second post. As you can see, things are changing.

Good thing, bad thing.
Good thing: my partner is taking care of herself.
Bad thing: extreme stress.
Good thing: my partner is finally doing those things she has been talking about doing.
Bad thing: my partner is taking a new job, change is alwasys stressful.
Good thing: my partner is taking a less stressful job.
Bad thing: my partner is a planner and right now she doesn't have a complete plan.
Good thing: my partner is writing again.

But wait there's more...

Recently, my job changed. There I was quietly doing my normal work thingie when off goes my boss. Sure, she took a new job. Always thinking only of herself. {please note humor indicator is suppose to be high here} Leaving me to fend for myself.

Good thing, bad thing.
Good thing: I really enjoyed working for her.
Bad thing: she left.
Good thing: I got promoted.
Bad thing: more responsibility.
Good thing: More interesting opportunities.
Bad thing: spending more time on work.
Good thing: work is getting to be fun again.

But wait there's more...

My son was having a difficult time at his mom's. He moved in with his grandparents and shortly after that we all decided he should come live with us for the summer. Or maybe longer. After, 8 years of it being just my partner and I, we have a new voice in the house. New issues to deal with. New boundaries to realize. New approaches to daily life.

Good thing, bad thing.
Good thing: My son is out of a situation that wasn't working.
Bad thing: He was in a situation that wasn't working.
Good thing: We get to be closer.
Bad thing: Another new life change that by its "change" adds stress
Good thing: we are all going to learn something new.

But wait there's more...

I have worked at my current employer for a long time, 20+ years {okay, all those years weren't in a row}. And some times, after a long time, the various goofy ways things work, well, they just get to you. {this is probably why all those years weren't consecutive} So here I am with a philosophy that I have lived by for so many years -

When faced with a problem, you have three choices -

1 - you can attempt to change it


2 - if you can't change it, then you can attempt to "live" with it


3 - if you can't change it AND you can't "live" with it, then you must leave it!

Once again at a crossroads.
Too old to start over.
Too poor to retire.
Too energetic to just stop working.
Too tired to fix the all problems.
Too stressed to add any more things on my plate.

But Wait... oh no, just kidding. That's about it.

And that's just about enough.

I am sure that my stress is far less than others. I mean folks are still dealing with the long road to recovery from the tsunami. But you know what, as terrible as that was, it didn't happen directly to me. So, as much as people talk about it and how it has bothered them, they will not know exactly how those who lived it felt. To feel it, you must live it. My stress may be small compared to what others have gone through. But I am living it and it is really close to me. Like when you use binoculars and you see that lion so far away, but he seems so close, he isn't. When he is standing next to you, well, the feeling and "sense" of the lion is oh so very real and "personal". That's stress! That's my up close and personal lion. I have no idea if I am lunch or just some strange animal to be ignored. I can tell you that worrying about it doesn't help. It just is.

So here I am. Once again. Another late night, early morning. Thinking. Writing. Wondering.

But wait there's more...

No comments: