Sunday, July 25, 2004

everybody has a theory on life...

I am lucky enough to be spending the remainder of my life with the most amazing person that I have ever met.
To avoid being too gushy, I will only say that she is brilliant.  That wasn't too gushy, right?
Together, we have formed a theory on how life works, well at least when it comes to relationships.
We came up with the "triangle" concept.  Each of us meet people daily.  We interact with them on a remote or close basis. Remote interactions are those that happen in passing.   These range from the casual "hello" or an acknowledging glance to simply catching a glimpse of someone from a distance.  No matter how brief these remote interactions are, they do have an influence.  The close interactions are those we have with our friends, family or anyone we have more than just a remote connection.
Now, back to the triangle concept.  Each triangle consists of "you", "me" and "we".  In any interaction we each bring ourselves to the party.  The "we" is what results.  All those traits, physical and beyond, are traded to produce a new point on the triangle.
Reasonable and straight-forward, don't you think?
Now here is where is gets a bit more complex.  Each point of this you-me-we triangle is infinitely connected to all the other "you"s that come in contact.   So you could think of this simple triangle being connected with other triangles similar to the way a geodesic sphere appears.  However, with a geodesic sphere, that would only cover the single "shell".   The relationship connections are made up of an infinite number of connections, thus forming an infinite number of geodesic sphere shells or better yet "webs".   
Wait, I am starting to get lost! 
Here is a very simple example.  Let's take Rich and Arlene.  They are life partners.  Rich brings all his experiences (good, bad, etc.) to the interactions with Arlene.  Arlene brings in her set of experiences.  During these interactions something unique happens.  Each is some how changed or influenced by what occurs and this forms the "we" connection point.  Sometimes it is basic and simple, like a exchanged smile (or frown).  Other times it is complicated and complex, like trying to understand multiple universes and why time travel is possible (or not).  Either way, the "we" is formed as the unique point of combined "energies" (for lack of a better word).  
Of course, neither Rich nor Arlene live in a vacuum (although sometimes that has some real appeal).  They each interact as individuals with others, which once again forms new triangles.  These are separate triangles, yet those interactions cause them to bring back new "points" to their triangle.
Let's say Arlene interacts with Karen.  They have just formed a new and separate "we" from the Rich-Arlene-we. 
But wait there's more! 
Rich also meets Karen and interacts with her.  Now there exists three separate triangles, the Arlene-Karen-we, the Rich-Karen-we  and finally the original Rich-Arlene-we.
So what does the world look like when Arlene and Karen and Rich all interact together. 
Is this where all the different "we" points come together?  Isn't it true that Arlene and Karen and Rich could all interact?  Yes.   Wouldn't this now form a new triangle point where  all 3 come together to influence each other.  Yes. 
This gets even more complex.   The "we"s formed by each pairing can connect to the other "we" pairings, infinitely. 
As described each two person triangle is simply that, a triangle.  When you add a third person, the triangle becomes a four pointed shape.  Add a fourth and you have a common "we" between the four.  But always triangles.  As each new person is added to the mix a new "we" point is created.  Once created, it always exists.  The resulting shapes can connect infinitely to all other individuals that are "contacted". 
Confused yet?  Think this is a load of bull?  If so, just let it rest.  Sometimes the best way to understand something is to let your conscious mind NOT think about it.   Forget about what you just read. Think about what you had for lunch.  Go do something else.    OR, read on.
You and I just formed a "WE".  So no matter what, something changed.   Unfortunately, unlike in-person contacts, this was very one sided.  You and I really didn't have a complete "we" contact.  I didn't see you.  I didn't hear you.  I didn't feel your energy.   But still, there was a connection.  You read this and now something has changed in you.  
"So what?",  you say.  "Why do I even care what your theory on life is?", you ask.  Good questions.  
What I have found in my relationship with Arlene is that you never know what will come out of the exchanges.  A casual comment might later blossom into an entirely new personal direction or pursuit.  Enlightenment might arise from the smallest of sparks. 
I guess what I am trying to get across is that we cross paths with many others.  We influence each other in many ways.  Some times the influence is extremely small, but it is an influence, none the less.  The bottom line is - try not to be so focused on "I" that you can't see all the other points of contact.  Don't miss what they offer.
Thanks for listening.  May your life be full of  "we"s.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

the jersey shore immortalized...

Okay, you probably know I am from New Jersey. To be specific, the South Jersey Shore.

Well, in the August 2004 issue of National Geographic is a feature on "The Jersey Shore". It covers the entire length (127 miles from Sandy Hook to Cape May Point), some sections lighter than others, but covered at least.

They asked what was your favorite Jersey Shore vacation. Since growing up there on a farm was never a vacation, I have only really had one or two and they came after I had moved away to Washington State.

If you want to post your Jersey Shore perfect vacation, head over to the forum.

Here is what I posted on the NG Jersy Shore forum:

My perfect vacation on the South Jersey shore was getting a place to stay in Cape May (the Stockton Inn was our choice) and then exploring from there. Wildwood boardwalk; Cape May point; and the various inland farms, antique shops and cheesy summertime tourist traps.

But always returning to wonderful Cape May to quietly wander the streets to meet an old friend or two.

I am originally from Rio Grande, NJ and live now in Washington State.
I spent my summers working as most do who live at the "Shore".
So, it was wonderful to come back and actually enjoy what the South Jersey Shore has to offer.

With a family lineage that dates back to 1623 at the Shore, its hard to stay away even if you can't be physically there.

I love to vacation there and as the article says, you just keep coming back again and again.

I will.